Revealed: How the law abiding and patriotic will make fat criminal Andrew Landeryou confess

Fat and drunken bum Andrew Landeryou is best known nowadays as the compiler of a blog based around "odd spot" links stolen from dozens of reputable news sites from around the world while he is actually a hardened criminal involved in theft, fraud, perjury, intimidation, criminal defamation and multiple breaches of the companies code and electoral laws.

Landeryou - and his perjurer wife Dim Ditching, who enjoyed a life of luxury on the proceeds of his criminality - denies his evil deeds.

Now, the patriotic and law abiding have an overseas precedent that shows them how to force a confession from fat Andrew Landeryou. All it will take is law enforcement officials who remain uncorrupted by the bribery and blackmail the Landeryou clan and their supporters and lackeys specialised in during the corrupt Bracks and Brumby years, along with a little time and a large tub of KFC.

The original of this inspirational story is available here.
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Fat thief Andrew Landeryou escape criminal charges yet again - patriots demand inquiry

This law abiding and patriotic blog has reported multiple examples of fat thief and fraudster and serial internet defamer Andrew Landeryou - the former Crikey correspondent and "husband" of crossdressing perjurer Kimberley Kitching - spooning down fat from restaurant grease traps and bin-diving outside KFCs.

The morbidly obese criminal engaged in a fascinating bit of projection yesterday. He posted the following link on his comedy relief links and phishing website (that he insists is a news site) Vexnews about the theft of valuable lard from KFCs.

A delightful grease trap snack of the kind that Andrew Landeryou likes to polish off hourly

As a known thief of fat from restaurants and even tanneries, fat Andrew Landeryou must be rejoicing that the corrupt appointees of the Bracks and Brumby years are still protecting him and that Ted Baillieu's do-nothing government has not removed them.
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Andrew Landeryou in sick sex shame - fat crook abuses retard

Earlier this week Andrew Landeryou shocked and sickened the decent, hard working and law abiding readers of this patriotic blog by posting graphic descriptions of sexual perversion in a comments thread:

While anal play may be considered kinky and somewhat taboo, it's a sexual practice that more than a few men and women, regardless of sexual orientation, enjoy. In men, this potent pleasure point is the prostate, which is found inside their anal canal. The prostate's primary function, however, is to aid in reproduction. It does this by secreting a fluid into semen before ejaculation occurs, helping with sperm mobility and prolonging the life of the sperm once it leaves the penis.

Before anal play, it can be helpful for your partner to urinate and/or have a bowel movement before you begin. You can cut and file smooth your fingernails as well, so that there are no rough or jagged edges. Relaxation is also important, minimizing or preventing the possibility of tearing the thin lining of the rectum, and setting the stage for pleasure. Some people relax by taking a warm bath. Others begin by sensuously massaging their partner's body, slowly leading to the butt and inner thighs, using or adding massage oil or lubricant. For safer anal play, you can wear a latex glove with a dab of water-based lubricant on it.

When you are both ready, you can begin massaging your partner's prostate externally. Using your index and middle fingertips, you can touch, rub, stroke, or press his perineum (the area of skin from underneath his testicles to his anus), trying various sensations and pressures. Using your other hand, you can stroke other parts of his body for additional arousal. This is the beginning of the massage, so encourage your partner to communicate with you about what feels good to him.

As your partner begins to enjoy the sensations, using water-based lube, gradually insert your finger(s) into his anus. You may both need to experiment with various positions that allow for easy access. In the meantime, you can begin with him lying on his back. Insert your finger(s) about an inch or so, and when your partner is comfortable, move your finger(s) in an upward motion along the wall of the rectal lining that faces the front of his body. Try to locate a round bulb of tissue — this is the prostate. Once you locate this area, move your finger(s) in a "come here" motion, as if you were asking someone to move closer to you so that you could whisper a secret. Use your finger pad(s) on the tip(s) of your finger(s) to massage the prostate, and be mindful of not using your nail(s). Ask him what feels good and how he wants to be touched. While you are touching your partner in this way, you can ask if he wants more or less pressure, or slower or faster strokes. You can also ask him if he wants you to touch his penis, testicles, or perineum simultaneously. Some men like oral sex or kissing at the same time, too.

Be aware that receiving anal stimulation may cause feelings of having to go to the bathroom. More often than not, this is just a "feeling" that the stimulation causes and may take some getting used to. If your partner indeed does find pleasure from this experience, it might set him over the edge if you rhythmically or irregularly press on his prostate gland before or during ejaculation. It is even possible for men to orgasm through prostate stimulation alone.

Hopefully, you'll hit the jackpot with this rectal rub

 Landeryou's virile member vanished beneath folds of flab when he was just 11. It has not been seen since. Landeryou has never enjoyed the healthy pleasures of sex in a normal or natural way.

Now though Fat Cave sources tell us that not only has he described his sole source of sexual activity in his filthy post and not only does he force his retarded gimp, the self-styled photo journalist and expert on all thing military "Sergeant" Sasha Uzunov to perform these perversions on him, but that a photo exists of the fat crook awaiting the poor brain-dead Sarge's rectal ministrations:

Ugh! Eew! Yuck!
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