MISSING PERSONS ALERT

Missing criminal Andrew Landeryou in his persona of "Shirley".

The KFC gives him away.

NAME: Andrew John Clyde Fat Crook Landeryou

KNOWN ALIASES: Cait Catt, Catter8, Shirley, Henderson Ross and numerous others

DISTINGUISHING FEATURES: Gross morbid obesity, baldness, KFC addiction, drunkenness, criminality, racism, transvestitism, political extremism, deranged and deluded nature

NOTES: Criminal and sleaze-monger Andrew Landeryou appears to have been missing for over a month now going by the sporadic updates of his little-read hate blog Vexnews. Nobody misses him at all but it is hoped he is still alive to face prosecution and imprisonment on multiple counts of theft, fraud, dishonesty, criminal libel, exploitation of a mentally retarded former Defence Careers Centre tea boy ("Sergeant" Sasha Uzunov) and breaches of the state and federal Electoral Acts.
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FAT CRIM'S SHAME: Landeryou loots food from floods

Morbidly obese criminal Andrew Landeryou has been too drunk and too lazy to update his blog for most of the past three weeks, yet has ordered his mentally retarded gimp “Sergeant” Sasha Uzunov to Queensland to steal food from flood victims.

Police and emergency workers have reported several sightings of a clearly backward man in camo gear with an Alfoil-covered colander on his head looting flooded KFCs as the tragic events of recent days.

“We didn’t shoot the bloke because it was obvious he was a retard,” one told Slanderyou New. “We didn’t realise this was something systematic.”

Patriotic people in Victoria are well aware that the criminal Landeryou uses the mentally-impaired Uzunov as an associate in his crimes, especially after photographs emerged of the Sarge committing contempts of court on the fat man's behalf minutes after he had been injuncted by Les Twentyman's wife in the Sunshine Magistrates Court.

But both are unknown in what was once the Sunshine State, so police and the emergency services have not put two and two together.

A Fat Cave insider however confirmed to Slanderyou New that the morbidly obese crim had despatched his retard minion to Queensland with orders to return with as much KFC as possible.

“KFC is KFC to Andrew,” the source said. “When he’s had a few litres of Rutherglen Rotgut he doesn’t care if it is cold, stale or mouldy. Indeed, the evidence suggests that he eats mouldy KFC pretty regularly.

“The mould that grows on rotting KFC has hallucinogenic affects and it is obvious from the bizarre and blatantly untrue material that appears on Vexnews that Andrew is completely out of mind for most of the time.”
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Andrew Landeryou the boiling frog

"There is probably less public-sector corruption in Victoria than most monasteries" morbidly obese criminal Andrew Landeryou wrote in one of his very first post-election posts as he expressed his immense opposition to Premier Ted's plans for a local ICAC.

He is right. There is little public-sector corruption in Victoria. There is little political corruption too. But what there is, Andrew Landeryou, his wife Kimberley Kitching, his nasty old man and all their friends and associates have been at the very heart of.

Now that his protectors are out of power and his wife is unemployed (as well as unemployable) Andy and Dim should take the proceeds of his many and various crimes and go and lie on a beach somewhere we don't have an extradition treaty with.

If Andy and Dim were smart this is where they would be

Instead, the thief and fraudster and serial defamer and his perjurer wife are going to end up behind bars.

Landeryou just does not get it. Power in Victoria has changed. He has lost his political protection. He is a handy scapegoat too.

Yet Landeryou is still blogging away. Vexnews is even more irrelevant but he is keeping it going. He is working to install Kimberley Kitching as a MP.

He should have headed off overseas as soon as it became clear Labor has lost. It is not as if that would have been hard for Landeryou. He has experience from the Costa Rica flit and it is well known that the proceeds of his crimes are stashed in Hong Kong and Cyprus.

But Landeryou is so dumb and arrogant that he is staying.

Remember the story of the boiling frog, how if you put a frog in boiling water and it will immediately jump out but if you put a frog in cool water and slowly bring it to the boil and the frog gets cooked alive?

Landeryou is like that second frog. He is comfortable now but things are changing. The heat will slowly get turned up on him.


This patriotic and law abiding blog will return in the New Year. A happy Christmas to all our readers.
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Fat Landy's lost weekend

It is less than a week to the state election, but did the fat lazy criminal Andrew Landeryou get off his arse and update his hate blog Poxnews last weekend. Of course not!

He was too lazy when the Sunday Age sprung him for publishing a three month old piece of information 30,000 patriotic unionists were consulted about as "news" to bother to respond until the Monday.

So what did the fat lazy criminal Andrew Landeryou spend the weekend doing? Our cameras braved the Fatcave and here is the exclusive story:

Patriotic people may ask where there are no KFC wrappers scattered around the comatose form of fat lazy criminal Andrew Landeryou. He ate them. He always eats them in case they have soaked up any of the KFC fat.

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Fat bum wants free feed

No body reads fat bum and bludger Andrew Landeryou's evil Blog of Sleaze. It is filled with lies and bile and the site stuffs your PC full of spyware. The only people who end up on the site are perverts misdirected there by Google thanks to his deliberately placed references to bestiality and 1980's porn star Long Dong Silver.

All of this makes it quite a mystery why the lazy sod bothers to Tweet, but now the patriotic journalists of The Australian have the answer.

KFC, the paper reports, is offering a $20,000 university scholarship for the best Tweet.

Fat bum and bludger Landeryou isn't interest in higher learning. He would much rather steal from a university union that learn at a university. But he keeps Tweeting away in the hopes that he wins and the Colonel's friends lets him cash the scholarship in for $20,000 worth of KFC.

If he had $20,000 worth of KFC in his hot (and fat) little hands it would mean he would not have to send his brain-damaged retard gimp "Sergeant" Sasha Uzunov down to his local store to pick him up a feed for as long as 36 hours.

"I've never seen Andrew work as hard on anything as he is on his Tweeting," a Vexnews insider told Slanderyou New, "not even when Newnham promised him $50,000 in used notes if he successfully smeared Les Twentyman."

A KFC bucket. Fat bum and bludger (and known criminal) Andrew Landeryou

eats over 85 of these a day, paid for with the proceeds of his infamous

IQ Corporation and MUSU thefts and frauds and other crimes.

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